One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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