Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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