Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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