we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
