The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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