update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Acid is not a monday night drug
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
