I bet he comes in French.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
