How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
