i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
