If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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