is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
