I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
