Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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