He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
