I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
