Ambien. No doubt about it.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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