thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
sex in a hospital.. check
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
