Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
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I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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