Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just found puke in my bra..
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
