i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
