life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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