so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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