Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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