You can't special order awesome
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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