she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
