I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
