god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
