I skipped work to stalk him.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
