remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
