I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
