What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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