My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
