she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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