Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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