Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
