We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
