Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
