I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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