A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
