google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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