I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
