Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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