Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
