its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
