The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
