He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
