my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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