I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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