i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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