Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
