Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
