the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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