I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
