i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
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Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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