Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
