I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
