U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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