It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
