i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
